upset and need some advice
hey,
Just like everyone here I admit that I struggle to find some way to
deal with my SD. I think everyone would say that they feel
uncomfortable, upset and angry at least some of the time. This is
what i’m upset about . . . I’ve been seeing this guy for 5 months
now and I mentioned three months into the relationship that I have a
disorder (but I told him that I’m not quite comfortable sharing it
or telling him about it at that point). He brought it up today and I
managed to tell him a little bit about it (not the actual name of the
disorder). I told him I have a skin disorder that makes my skin red
and itchy. That there’s no cure. That I’m on medication. That certain
things trigger it (i.e. environment/hormones). After I told him some
information I was kind of quiet. He asked me some questions, but I
only answered the ones I felt comfortable answering. He said that he
noticed that I looked sad and was very quiet some of the time. He
said that I shouldn’t be sad . . . that there are always
breakthroughs. THe only thing is that he DOESN’T understand. He
doesn’t have SD, therefore, he could never know how it feels to have
your skin ithcy and irrated about 80% of the time, or feel embarassed
to go out when your skin flares up or have flaky skin and feel that
your skin is sooo dry. It’s not like I can ignore my feelings. I
can’t just be happy whenever I want. For me having SD is
uncomfortable. So I got angry (but I couldn’t really express myself
since the place we were at was a busy bar). THe thing is he doesn’t
know everything about it and I’m scared to tell him everything, just
because I think maybe he would leave or not understand. Of course I
wouldn’t want to be with anyone that does not accept it, but . . .
its tough! Its hard to have Seborrheic Dermatitis and not feel
completely comfortable or feel comfortable telling everything about
it to your significant other.Does anyone or has anyone told their
girlfriend/boyfriend about their Seborrheic Dermatitis? How have they
handled it? Were there some tough times? What has helped your
situation or made it worse? Yeah I guess I’m just upset and was
wondering if anyone could offer some advice.
thanks,
Sonia
March 23rd, 2005 at 5:25 pm
Hi,
You should not let this highjack your feelings and thoughts. Just
tell him seb derm can be a real bitch. Just be honest, if you feel
it helps to talk about it then do, but dont dwell in negativity.
What treatments have you tried.
The last two posts concerned low dose accutane and laser/light
therapy.
Do you have oily, acne prone skin? If you do not plan to become
pregnant, and your skin is bothering you a lot, you could ask your
derm to put you on low dose accutane.
Or ask him about laser therapy. Or ask the guy who just posted on
this group about his laser experience.
best wishes,
Mads
March 24th, 2005 at 3:34 am
Hey there Sonia!
I can totally relate to your situation. I actully think that my SD
was a major factor when my relationship with my girlfriend (named
Sonja, belive it or not) crashed. I often feel embarassed and hate to
show myself in public when my skin is at it’s worst. I had a
wonderful time with her, my skin was at it’s best in a long time, I
was in Accutane and DRL, and I did things I never would have done
today, when my skin has gotten worse. I didn’t want to meet her
friends, relatives as much as she would have liked. I put myself down
and didn’t want to embarass her, allthough she said, when I mentioned
this condition to her, she had never seen anything of my SD. I do
realize I have a tendency to exaggerate my condition, I think we all
do more or less, after spending hours in front of the mirror each
day, and popping into the restroom whenever you get a chance, just to
get a chance to check if you’re red, have any scales that needs to be
removed or whatever. I actully check myself into all available
mirrors when I go shopping, just to check that all is "in check".
It’s getting out of hand!
I’m thinking of going on Accutane again, I had my best skin when I
was taking it, I don’t care if my nose bleeds constantly, I have to
do something! I can tell you all this much, I won’t get involved with
either this or another woman until I feel I have this crap under some
kind of control again, you just can’t live you life as those
with "normal" skin out there. Especially now for me, as my skin has
gotten into some kind of Rosacea-mode on top of the SD. This past
winter was horrible, my skin was red bright after just a couple of
minuter out in the cold air.
Hang in there Sonia, you’re not alone…
March 24th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Hi Andreas,
If you are going to do accutane again, keep in mind that as little as
10 mg three times a week can be enough. Dr Nase, a leading rosacea
expert says low dose accutane is one of the best treatments for
rosacea. He mentions laser as the second one.
It will reduce oil output as you know.
I dont think you should have a problem with getting it from your
dermatologist.
Check out the link I posted to a low dose accutane study.
Best wishes,
Mads
March 27th, 2005 at 11:50 am
Hi Mads!
Thanks so much for replying to my message. It helped a lot. I just
hope the person that I am involved with right now will understand my
situation. Um right now I am taking Itraconazole tablets. Yes I have
oily/acne prone skin. I have not tried accutane, but there seems to
be a lot of mixed reviews for that medication. Does it reduce a lot
of your SD? Like the scales and flakyness on the skin? Perhaps I will
consider other options, but not before I do some serious research.
cheers,
March 28th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
He may not understand the feelings you go through, but he seems to be
understanding of your condition or at least it doesn’t bother him that
you have it. If you let it get you down though it may strain the
relationship…same with in andmag79’s reply. It sounds both yours
and his SO don’t have a problem with the condition, so why let it get
you down. If they are willing to "show you off" to friends or family
or just want to be with you, you should accept that as a good thing
and be happy about it. I know there are times where it’s hard to see
the good with this thing, but it sounds like you have something here
that you don’t want to lose by being sad. In other words, the
condition itself may not drive this person away, but if you are
constantly not feeling well and not wanting to go out that might drive
them away. Go out and enjoy yourself and be happy someone enjoys
spending time with you.
Eric